remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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