i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
