Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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