I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
