Me too!
I think I died a long time ago.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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