This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
