I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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