I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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