i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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