So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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