Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize