Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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