We named our party play list daddy issues
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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