I'm going to rape someone's good day.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
