Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
