Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
