you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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