The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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