yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
