Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
