Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize