I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
