Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
