I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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