dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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