I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize