I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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