why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize