They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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