Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
