i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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