I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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