like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
