How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
