And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
