if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize