what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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