Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
