Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
