Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
