My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
