Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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