Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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