Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
