We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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