we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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