I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You ate ashes out of my bong
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
