I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
