i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
