WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
