When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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