it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
