Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
