Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
