Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
