just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
