you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
